


The Best-Laid Plans of Mice and Men Often Go Awry... Especially When Remus is Involved

by NekoAbi



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativitwins, Implication of swearing, M/M, Pining Idiots, Remus is honestly trying his best, but his best is awful, faking an injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 14:02:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19831726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NekoAbi/pseuds/NekoAbi
Summary: Roman is roped into his twin’s plan to set him up with his crush. It goes about as well as expected, mostly because Remus is involved... and came up with the plan.





	The Best-Laid Plans of Mice and Men Often Go Awry... Especially When Remus is Involved

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of a prompt fill challenge I'm doing with a couple of friends on tumblr! Follow [ The Squirtle Squad Writes ](https://thesquirtlesquadwrites.tumblr.com/) on tumblr to see what else we've all done!
> 
> The prompt was: “If I need you, I’ll give you a signal.” “What signal?” “I’ll imitate the scream of a terrified little girl.”

“Is this really necessary?”

Roman stood at the end of the playpark by his home, looking sceptical as his twin brother hung upside down on the monkey bars just a little away from him.

“Of course!” chimed the high-pitched voice of his twin, who flipped down off of the monkey bars with little grace. He practically turned his arms the wrong way, before letting go of the metal bar and having them swing around in a full circle to get back into place, which caused Roman to grimace. “It’s the _perfect_ plan!”

The slightly shorter of the two replied with little confidence as Remus threw an arm around his brothers’ shoulders, “I don’t know, Rem…”

“Oh, come _on,_ Ro! Don’t you want to date him?” Remus leaned in, attempting what could only be an awkward attempt at a flirtatious face and voice.

Roman huffed and crossed his arms, “Fine! I’ll go along with this stupid plan.” Remus went to interrupt, but Roman quickly turned and pointed at him, his finger acting almost as a sword as he held it to his twin’s throat, “But only because you won’t stop bugging me if I don’t, and I want to see this blow up in your face, you idiot.”

Remus simply smiled in response, his hands falling to Roman’s shoulders before they were quickly shrugged off, “It won’t fail! It will work so good and you will be _kissing_ in the box over there by tomorrow!” Remus grinned as Roman spluttered, almost making a puking noise at the simple idea.

“Please never ever talk about me and kissing _ever_ again.”

“Hmmm… Never!”

The twins hung around the play park for a few hours, just doing whatever. Remus found all the worst places to sit; which included the space between monkey bars, the end of a tree branch that almost stuck out into the road and being sideways about halfway down the steeper part of the enclosed, tube slides. Roman just about had a heart attack when the other boy almost fell down off of that spot, which led to both of them getting into an argument over who was the stupid one.

Finally, the pair took up a space near the top of the playpark. Remus had clambered out and was currently standing at the top of the pointed roof, hanging off of the short flagpole that was at the very top. Roman was boredly flicking pieces of woodchips from the small room underneath, attempting to ignore his stupid brother’s footsteps above him. He’d already let the idiot know that if he fell, Roman was going to tell their parents exactly what happened so that he would get the proper telling off.

Roman sighed and was about to call up, asking how much longer they’d be waiting here, but was interrupted by a shout from above.

“Target Spotted!” Remus called out, causing Roman to scramble over to the short barrier-like wall. He peered over it, trying to keep as hidden as he could. Roman’s heart skipped a beat as he noticed just what Remus was talking about.

A little way away, standing at the entrance to both his and the twins’ street, were Patton and his mum. Roman could see, even from this distance, the wide smile that signified Patton was having a great time and was extremely happy, which only filled his heart with even more warmth. The boy was just so freaking cute, how was Roman supposed to not have a crush on him?!

He didn’t have long to dwell on that, however, as the sound of Remus climbing back down interrupted him. Roman turned around from his spot and saw the flailing legs of his twin just make contact with the wall to the left of him. Remus continued to drop further down, sticking his feet underneath the little wall and leaning in to whisper loudly to Roman.

“I’m going to go intercept him!”

“How do you know he’s even coming this way?!” Roman hissed, his cheeks suddenly a bright red as he thought about what his twin was planning.

“Trust meeee!” Remus responded in a sing-song voice. He began to descend further down the playpark’s side, “When I need you, I’ll give you a signal!”

“What signal?!” Roman called out, confused as he was not told there was going to be a need for a signal.

Remus’ piercing green eyes with their dark bags popped back into view in the gap just under the short wall, where his feet had previously been. It was clear he was grinning widely. “I’ll imitate the scream of a terrified little girl!” With that, he was back to clambering back down.

Roman sat in silence for a second, his mouth agape. Once the words had truly sunk in, he crawled over to the wall and whispered harshly down to his brother, “That’s just your normal scream, you piece of sh-”

“Hey! Mum said no swearing!”

“Mum’s not here!”

Through the small gap at the bottom, Roman was just able to notice Remus sticking his tongue out at him before he turned and skipped away to the edge of the playpark. Roman could only sit there and watch as Remus attempted to subtly wait for Patton to arrive, though the shorter was pretty sure that Remus didn’t even know the meaning of the word, especially since he was constantly turning and looking out down the pathway.

Roman was unable to look anymore. He groaned and sat with his back to the same wall his brother had somehow climbed down without injury, his head tilted back to look up at the cobwebs that lined the inside of the roof. There was no way this plan was going to work, mostly because it was thought up by his awful excuse for a brother who had no idea what it was even like to have a crush.

A shrill scream pierced Roman’s ears, causing him to cover them until the sound stopped.

“I guess that’s the signal?” Roman muttered to himself, before standing and hurrying down to where his brother had been standing before.

“Are you alright? What happened?” Patton’s soft, sweet voice caught Roman’s ears as he got closer, as did the pathetically fake sniffles of his twin.

Remus was sitting on the ground, his hands wrapped tightly around his ankle as he fake-cried. He was attempting to explain how he just wanted his brother, how much his ankle was hurting and all of this nonsense. He was not even attempting to come up with an explanation of how he hurt himself. Patton, meanwhile, was crouched down beside Remus, both hands on his knees as he looked at him with concern. He was trying to calm the other boy down and trying to figure out where Roman was.

Roman internally rolled his eyes upon approaching the two, which had both of them looking up. Remus called out to him and went to stand but fell back dramatically as he put weight on _the other foot_ that had been fine up until just then. Thankfully, Patton didn’t notice as he was already up and rushing to Roman’s side.

“Oh Roman! Thank goodness! Something happened to your brother, he’s really hurt! I heard him scream just as I walked past, I hope he’s alright!” Patton rambled at him, wrapping his arms around one of Roman’s in an attempt to pull him over to Remus faster. Roman would have been lying if he’d denied that the action didn’t make his heart race just a little.

The standing twin made a slightly delayed sound of concern, since Patton’s grasp on his arm had temporarily caused his thoughts to stop. Roman looked down at his brother, who was still whimpering and grasping his ankle. He so desperately wanted to say something snarky, but Roman just couldn’t do that in the presence of Patton so he bit it back and put on his best performance to date. “I heard the scream too, which is why I headed over here. I think it’s best if I get him back home quickly.” As he went to bend down and attempt to get Remus up, he was knocked down by his brother who looked at him like he was an idiot. “What the hell, Rem?!”

Remus quickly went back into his fake injury routine, “I’m sorry, Roman! I didn’t mean to! It just hurts so much, I can’t move!”

Both of the two other boys in attendance shared a quick look of confusion. Patton was the first to respond to Remus’ claim, crouching down once more and speaking with a soft tone. “Wouldn’t it be nice to go and sit back at home? That would help it get better, right?” The injured twin sniffled a little more, exaggeratedly looking like he was considering Patton’s suggestion. “Both Roman and me could help you back, if that would make it easier?”

Immediately, Remus was on board. It took a little to work everything out, but eventually Remus was being supported on either side by the two other boys. Slowly but surely, they made progress down the pathway and back to their street.

After a bit of guiding, Patton gasped and turned his sunny grin towards the twins, “I didn’t know you lived down here too! This is my street!”

Remus feigned an innocently surprised voice that had Roman fighting back a groan, “What?! You do?! Ro, did you hear that?!”

“Yes. I did. I’m right here.” Roman said testily, sending a glare towards his twin. He then caught that Patton’s grin was slowly sliding off of his face and that made Roman turn away with a grumble and a blush.

After dropping Remus off in their home – whilst purposefully trying to be quiet so they didn’t get the attention of either of their parents, Roman escorted Patton to the front door.

“Well, now that I know you’re here, we can walk home from school together!” Patton chimed happily as he stepped out of the front door, turning back to Roman with a sunny grin once more.

Roman smiled genuinely, “That would be wonderful, Patton. I must apologise for my brother, though. He can be a little…” He paused, trying to find the right word to describe his twin, “over-the-top.”

Patton simply giggled, clasping his hands behind his back adorably, “It’s no problem! I hope he feels better soon!”

“I’m sure he will…” Roman muttered under his breath, glancing behind him to the stairs.

“See you later, Roman!” Patton waved as he started to walk back to the main pathway.

As Roman was waving back, Remus shouted from the top of the stairs, “ROMAN HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!”

The fallout was immediate as Roman slammed the door and rushed up the stairs to his twin, who screamed and ran back into his room. Meanwhile, Patton was a statue outside, listening to the commotion inside. Ever so slowly, he backed away and wandered back to his own house, before a gentle blush and smile crossed his features. He would have knocked and tried to talk about it, but Patton knew it was probably better to save that conversation for another day.


End file.
